Thursday, 29 November 2012

Licence to tweet

The name's Gray, Eliza Gray. The mission, to push the social media envelope. Tonight the challenge is a Tweetathon to the farthest reaches of the Twittersphere, boldly tweeting throughout the Shoreditch House Literary Salon.

While the audience listens, rapt, to their literary/musical heroines, Jojo Moyes, Naomi Alderman and Cerys Matthews, I spend the evening in a parallel universe, tapping away into my iPhone, oblivious to what's being read or said. But no matter! I am a woman of our time! And when I scroll through my oeuvre at the end of the evening, I discover that our great Salonniere, Damian Barr, has favourited no less than six of my tweets and replied to one! Yay. Recognition!

I also discover that one of my tweets ended up at the #lastchancesaloon instead of the #litsalon, another, inexplicably, at #whattowear, and one hopped over to the Leveson inquiry. A few are still orbiting the Twittersphere.

Here are those tweets in full, to be read from bottom to top.



Still here at Shoreditch House - the thing is, how do you get out of this place? 
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Well it's all over and I have completed my tweetathon! Really am marvellous  

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13h
The thing is, could I pass for under 30? My erotic bestseller cd win the Dylan Thomas prize of 30 grand! 
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13h
We're singing along. It really is marvellous this  lark. Who knew we'd be clapping and a-singin?
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13h
Ooh banjo too.  wants to join in  says no. This is getting marvellously exciting 
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13h
Singing pretty Rabbie Burns song to tune of 'are you going to San Francisco' 
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13h
Cerys says you can hide behind music but wd be terrifying to put words together and call it poetry 
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13h
Ooh she's picked up her guitar 
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13h
Missed the pizza btw. Starving 
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13h
Sylvia's good on throwing snowballs 
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13h
Oh it's the dinner gong 
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13h
Naomi Alderman on cymbally gongy thing, quivering with anticipation
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13h
Audience taking place of Cerys's musicians. Marvellous. 
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13h
Ooh audience participation. Quick. hide. Gosh, lots of raised hands. Sylvia's in there 
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13h
I really think they could look into chasing the electric cables into the wall
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13h
Ooh she's reading a thing about Laugharne for   we love Laugharne
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13h
'A nod to a future event which if you don't mind Naomi is Christmas' gets a big laugh. 
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13h
Cerys is reading from Dylan. Hope she does Oh mr tambourine man
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13h
Stripes r us - at least 6 people wearing stripy matelot tops in audience 
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13h
Oh the woman in the hat is Cerys Matthews! I can't see her without my glasses but she's adorable 
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14h
Must be pizza time soon 
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14h
Response from middle Britain to story ... Emails calling for her to be tried for blasphemy. Aw Bless dem christians 
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14h
Exhausting - iPhone in one hand, wine glass in the other, half an ear on proceedings ... :( 
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14h
Apparently the thing Jews find really weird is this guy whos totally like celibate could be king of the jews 
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14h
Sex sex sex tweet tweet 
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14h
Nobody interested in Jesus at the time apparently. 
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14h
Naomi cut the Judas and Jesus sex scene!!! Wise 
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14h
Pontiff. Ponying pontine oh bum!!! Pointers pontiff pontius Pilate invented term cloak and dagger
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14h
I must say people are listening very attentively. Ooh there's Dave Gilmour
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14h
This is marvellous - really getting the hang of it. Tweet tweet. Pilate has flared nostrils  
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14h
 looks nice in ankle boots and velvet jacket  oh! people of Jerusalem!
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14h
Argh! Horses scream in terror but death is always the same 
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14h
David king of the Jews!  prof Naomi alderman reading from her novel in the time of Jesus
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15h
Prof Naomi Alderman on a novel from the time of Jesus. 
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15h
Yay! Thank you so much  !!   gosh this is exhausting...
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15h
Hmmm. Ceiling needs replastering... 
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15h
Sylvia's hand is up but  says it's a q for afterwards. Something to do with  
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15h
 deleted 70000 wds of her book - on purpose! Oh God! Maybe need to cull some of erotic novel? 
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15h
More fascinating than what brings people together is what keeps them apart says   
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15h
Eh? Where did that go?
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15h
More fascinating than what keeps people together is what keeps them apart says
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15h
Well with this tweeting lark i missed virtually all of JoJo Moyes 's reading but here's lovely  
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15h
Am annoying everyone teething nonstop  
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15h
Marvellous! At shoreditch house  with the beautiful people 

Recovering after the Tweetathon with a
passion fruit and chilli martini ... mmmmm
Those passion fruit and chilli martinis in detail
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