Wednesday 19 October 2011

Gallery horror

Very exciting! My new boss (well, we seem to be getting on very well so far) Adam has gone to meet a prospective artist and so I'm in charge of the gallery! Apart from answering the telephone in an intelligent and helpful manner, I have been given a brief list of important tasks.

1. Hoover up flies from gallery floor.

Hmmm. Where's the Hoover? Oh. Trapped behind some priceless canvases in the cupboard. Oh, but here's a dustpan and brush. That's easier.

OK, floor swept. Oh, but the window ledges! Awash with dead flies. Right, let's sweep that lot in... oh bugger. As quickly as I sweep them into the dustpan, they get a new lease of life and fly back to the window. Get in there! Grrr. Right, let's open the window and swoosh them out. The top handle is absolutely stuck. Keep tugging... Argh!

Oh. My. Lord.

How much was that vase? Ah, here's the label on the plinth.

'Raw Essence', £895.


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